Isolation is absolutely linked to addiction for me. I came to SeekHealing through my therapist. She recommended it because I didn’t have any real connection in my life. 

After 11 years of sobriety, I relapsed in 2016 after I stopped going to meetings and stopped talking to my sponsor. I was on disability, so I was home all the time, and I simply had no community. I even went back to my drug of choice and lost a year and a half of my life to crack. I got clean in 2018, went to rehab, moved to Asheville, got into a sober living situation, and was clean again up until 2022.

It is only in hindsight I realize the profound negative impact the pandemic had on me in terms of isolation. I thought I was doing okay. I had a big online community through my self-employment, but that was all I had. By the end of the pandemic, I had no in-person community anymore. I’d say 80% to 90% of my interactions were text-based for three years. 

When some friends invited me to a bar in 2022, I thought I could handle it. I started drinking again slowly, but it wasn’t doing anything for me. No matter how much I drank, I couldn’t get away from the mess inside me. That same year, I had another brief relapse with crack.

It took me a few tries with SeekHealing. At my therapist’s urging, I tried a couple meetings, but I was super nervous and didn’t come back. Then I tried a SeekHealing art event, but art makes me nervous, and I felt I wasn’t doing it right. I went into a shame spiral and left again. 

This time around, it has been completely different. Once I became completely committed to recovery, my therapist again suggested SeekHealing. I think I was just so sad and lonely at that point, that I was willing to try anything. 

It felt good to be recognized from the earlier meetings I had attended. I started coming to one to two meetings a week. As I began to understand my level of isolation, I realized I needed to come more often. Now I come to just about everything that is offered. 

That started to establish relationships with other people who come regularly. There was comfort in knowing I was going to see some of the same people each time I went. Then one of those other regular folks started reaching out to me outside of the meeting. And now I was actually making friends.

Through SeekHealing, I have come to realize how vital connection is, not just in recovery, but also in life.  After my isolation during the pandemic, I’m learning how to verbally communicate again. These meetings are giving me the opportunity to relearn and practice how to have a conversation. At the same time, I am learning a new way to interact with other seekers and with people in general. It is almost like learning a new language. These meetings are teaching me to listen not only to the other person, but also listen to how I feel in response to what is being said.

For me, SeekHealing also models how to treat others with compassion, to be kind to others. I think we all need to do that.