I experienced death and drugs at a young age. After my mom started using Oxycontin, I had to grow up fast and raise myself. I was very isolated.  I started drinking at 11 and stopped going to school in about the 6^th grade. I started smoking weed at 12. 

When my grandfather found out what was going on, Mom was sent to rehab, and I went to live with grandad and his wife. There was food on the table and things felt almost normal for the first time since I was little. I was no longer isolated. They saved me. Mom got out of rehab, and I went back home with her. Despite a couple of her relapses, things were mostly good until I started dating an abusive guy.

That’s when I started on pills and began drinking a lot. For a couple of years, I drank and blacked out nearly every night to numb all the pain. I smoked meth and did cocaine occasionally, while doing lots of Adderall and opiates. Three days after a big physical fight with my boyfriend, my best friend committed suicide. Two years later, in a drug-induced psychosis, I tried to take my own life in front of my mom and her boyfriend. 

I was rushed to the hospital, then to a mental institution, then rehab. I moved to Chattanooga to sober living, but hated it, so I moved to Asheville, where I started learning how to be sober in society. A good friend brought me to a SeekHealing meeting. 

SeekHealing has taught me how to do so many things I couldn’t do before. Like speaking in front of people. Like talking about vulnerable things. I had always masked my emotions. I had never shared my story. 

I gradually learned to trust people. At SeekHealing there is no judgment, and we can be our authentic selves. For many of us, this is the first place we can discuss our past trauma without getting unwanted advice or getting judged or talked down to. It’s like we are all connected, and we understand each other. It really has saved my life. I don’t know where I’d be without SeekHealing. I would probably not be alive. 

I did have a relapse with fentanyl about a year into my sobriety. It lasted a few months, but SeekHealing is open to having people who are struggling with substances. It really helped me get through that time and get back into rehab. 

I have learned that addiction is a disease and sometimes you slip up. With SeekHealing, I always had a place to go when that did happen. I think anyone who experiences trauma or addictions, or anxiety or any mental health problems would benefit from SeekHealing.  It has just really changed my life and I don’t know what I would do without it.    

You guys have just really helped me throughout my life, I would have been so lost….. especially the listening training, that helped me so much. SeekHealing has been a very large part of my life and has healed me in many ways. I mean I literally couldn’t talk in front of people or be vulnerable and it taught me how to do that. Now I do it with no problem or embarrassment. I got to meet people that think in different ways than the people I am used to, and it just introduced me to a totally different way of thinking and feeling. It just taught me not to be afraid of feeling things or sharing about my trauma. I used to be very ashamed and it helped me feel empowered instead. At SeekHealing I could just be my complete self. It forced me to think in different ways and take in new perspectives. It’s amazing how such beautiful things can come out of really horrible events.